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ARE WE GONNA
HAVE
SEX OR WHAT?
The Midlife Guide to Reigniting Desire, Reclaiming Your Body, and Feeling Fully Alive
BEFORE YOU READ ANOTHER WORD
You’re not broken.
You’re not alone.
And you are not too old for this conversation.
Right now, women over 50 across this country are sitting in their beautiful lives feeling like they secretly failed a test no one told them about. The desire went quiet. The body stopped responding. And nobody’ not their doctor, not their partner, not the culture, is saying a single useful word about it.
So they go quiet too. And quiet starts to feel permanent.
This book breaks the silence. Because when women finally hear each other say it out loud, the actual thing, without apology.something shifts. You realize you weren't uniquely failing. You were living inside a story nobody told you was coming. That moment of recognition is where everything begins to change.
"I don't feel like myself anymore." "It's like I disappeared." "I love my life…so why don't I feel alive in it?"
These are not signs of failure. This is what happens when a woman has been last on her own list for decades.
READ THIS SLOWLY
She is competent, capable,
and deeply loved.
She is also disappearing from herself.
Her body doesn't respond the way it used to and she's been grieving that in private, convinced something is permanently wrong with her.
She's done the therapy. She's read the books. She sat in the doctor's office and left with a pamphlet and zero real answers.
She feels guilt for wanting more when, on paper, everything looks fine. "I should be grateful." And then she feels guilty for feeling guilty.
She doesn't feel desire anymore and somewhere deeper, she's stopped feeling much of anything. She functions beautifully. She just doesn't feel.
She has wondered, alone and honestly, whether this is just what getting older is supposed to feel like and whether wanting more makes her ungrateful or just honest.
She hasn't told anyone this. Not really. Because she doesn't know where to begin and she's afraid of what it would mean if she did.
Here is what 25 years of clinical work has taught me: she is not broken. She is exhausted. She is under-resourced. She has been so responsible for everyone else's aliveness that she quietly stopped tending to her own. Her nervous system didn't fail her; it protected her. But protection and desire cannot live in the same body at the same time. That is what this book is about.
Dr. Julie Merriman
WHAT THIS BOOK ACTUALLY DOES
Three doors back to yourself.
All of them lead somewhere real.
Not to who you were at 35. To who you actually are right now - which is more.
01
Desire
Not a checklist. Not "tips." An honest excavation of where desire actually goes and why it didn't leave without a reason. When you understand what happened, the way back becomes visible. That's the whole point of this section.
02
Reclaiming
Your Body
Your nervous system didn't betray you. It ran hot to keep you going. For years. This section translates what actually happens inside your body - why it shut down, why it stayed shut down, and what it needs to finally feel safe enough to open again.
03
Feeling
Fully Alive
Not a return. A reclamation. Women who work through this section describe feeling like themselves for the first time in years; not their younger self, but something more honest, more whole, and entirely their own. This is the part they didn't believe until they were living it.
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Monthly Group Coaching with Dr. Juls - Included. Ongoing. Yours.
Once a month, a small group of women get on a live call with Dr. Julie Merriman. Not a webinar. Not a course you watch alone at midnight and close after 11 minutes. A real conversation about desire, about the body, about what's actually happening and what actually helps.
The thing women say afterward, almost without exception: "I had no idea how much I needed to be in a room with other women who understand this." That room is what this bonus gives you.
→Live monthly call with Dr. Juls exploring desire, body, nervous system, relationships, all of it …no shame, no softening, no performance
→A private group of women who are in exactly the same place and the quiet, powerful relief that comes from finally knowing that
→First access to Dr. Juls' resources, updates, and deeper work , her list gets it before anyone else
→A place to keep going after the last page because the book starts the conversation; the group is where it continue
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